Sometimes we cannot bear to be alone – particularly if we do not like our own company.
Rather than spend time understanding ourselves however, it seems much easier to fixate on others around us who we hope will fill the gap left by the previous person.
“Please hold me”,” Make me feel safe”, “I want you sexually close to me” – are all phrases that say that we need another person to make us feel good.
The real truth of the matter is that it simply does not work – so hopping from one relationship to another shatters who you are further, rather than healing you in any way or making your heart whole.
Understanding that is what we are doing, is a good first step to realising a different way of being is needed.
Allowing pain to emerge and dealing with that, lightens and transforms – keeping emotions buried just means they stay there and fester.
It is all down to choice – if you dream of being whole again then the work starts with you – and you will eventually see that it takes pain away simply by facing those demons that suggest you are less of a person if you are on your own.
Sadly, many people who have been abused in some way end up feeling like this – not realising that we can make different choices and therefore find a different outcome where we really begin to live – perhaps for the first time. Attention seeking simply reinforces all that is unhelpful – pay attention to you and that different preferred future can be yours.
The choice is yours – find support and perhaps it will be easier to make that first step.